I’m not quite sure whether I’m currently having an early mid-life crisis or whether I’m just getting older. Things that used to seem important just aren’t any more. We have been working towards our 2.4 life for some time now, infact we’ve pretty much nailed it complete with 2 children, detached house in the suburbs, a dog (not a golden retriever mind) but we do have the Volvo! We both work hard everyday, the other half is likely to kill himself from stress within the next few years and we are always so busy trying to create a life that we never seem to have any time to just live it!
We are living in a endless suburban middle England cycle of…
Work, Eat, Sleep, Repeat!
If I am coming across as ungrateful that is not my intention. I am very grateful for everything we have. It is most certainly not a bad life but perhaps it’s just not the right life? Don’t get me wrong though it hasn’t been easy to get to where we are now. The other half has worked tirelessly to provide for us and give us everything our hearts desire. I just can’t stand by any longer and watch what it is doing to him both physically and mentally. As I watch him sat working at his laptop at 11 o’clock at night with his blood pressure monitor on my heart screams. That’s not living and it’s most certainly not sustainable.
My gypsy soul is literally screaming at me from the inside. It’s not about wanting more from life it’s actually about wanting less. I have this overwhelming desire or craving for a simpler life, with less modern day distractions. It’s almost like we have reached a point in our lives where it’s a case of what now? Yes we could work even harder, get that promotion which ultimately results in more money to spend on more things that we simply do not need. We could get a bigger house so they we spend even more of what little free time we have organising/cleaning/maintaining it. Yes it’s nice to have money to be able to do the things that you want to do but when you are too tired from work to actually enjoy those things what is the point?
I know we’ve all heard it before but life is short and ultimately when we are lying on our deathbeds I very much doubt we lay there thinking well I had that nice car and the big house filled with all the stuff. I’d like to think you’d be looking back on all of the good times, the experiences you had and the love you shared with others. So what if the cars, the house and the stuff outweighs the good times?
I remember as a child there was a quote that my Father use to have hanging in a frame in our downstairs toilet. I used to read it every time I was in there, which has resulted in me knowing it off by heart. Whenever I feel overwhelmed by life I remember it and it gives me comfort. It is called ‘What is Success?’
“What is Success?
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed
easier because you have lived;
This is to have succeeded”.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Society tries to dictate to us what success looks like and that we don’t have choices; you shall go to work everyday and earn as much as you can to buy stuff that you don’t need because that is what is considered acceptable in our society. What if we do have a choice? A choice to make that change, would you take it?
The way I see it is that we have two choices right now; carry on as we are and just accept life as it is or take a leap of faith and make the change.
I’m not entirely sure what the point of this post is? Perhaps there is no point other than to vent/dream/assess but either way I needed to get it out of my head.