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Today while I was doing the ironing I got a sudden feeling that I had to go into the garden where Henry was playing. I didn’t know why I was going into the garden I just knew that I should, so I did.
When I got out there I saw that I hadn’t locked the gate after I had put out the rubbish earlier and Henry was nowhere to be seen! Now I don’t know if you have ever lost your child for a moment but it is the worst feeling in the world. The panic sets in immediately and all of the worst possible scenarios flash through your mind.
I flew through the gate and luckily he was only on the other side so I got him back in and locked the gate. It took me ages to calm down and then the relief set in. After that I didn’t let him out of my sight for the rest of the day.
‘The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.’ ~Rajneesh
Later on I thought about it again and wondered what had made me go into the garden in the first place? He quite often plays out there while I’m inside, ironing, washing or cleaning. So why today did I just know that I had to get out there?
‘The ability to acquire knowledge without inference or the use of reason’.
I had a similar experience when Henry was younger; he was playing in his room whilst I was tidying our bedroom next door, again I had a sudden urge to go into his room because something felt wrong.
I flew into his room to find that he had climbed on top of his shelving unit and was leaning out of the OPEN window!
I have never been so scared in all my life. He was so young at the time and could barely walk let alone climb on top of something, therefore I hadn’t worried about the open window, I just presumed he’d never get up there. Bad judgement on my part, lesson one in parenting… never underestimate your child.
So again what had made me go into his room?
Either I have a guardian angel sitting on my shoulder helping me to protect my children or I have learnt to listen to my inner voice and in doing that I have become a real Mummy.
What about you? Have you ever just known that there was something wrong with one of your children without being able to explain why?